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Hollywood stars exposed

THETMZ — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 03:32:18 -0500

Hollywood stars exposed. What can I say - whatever. Don\'t forget to shave! We are watchin\' you!

Sharon Stone in Paris Match

THETMZ — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 03:25:50 -0500

Sharon Stone in Paris Match Wow Sharon, you still got the figure!

A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride

THETMZ — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 03:20:27 -0500

A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of no where, parks his bike and walks inside.

As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: $2.00

HAMBURGER: $2.25

CHEESEBURGER: $2.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50

HAND JOB: $50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole\' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.

She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.

\"Yes?\" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, \"may I help you?\"

The ole biker leans over the bar, \"I was wondering young lady,\" he whispers, \"are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?\"

She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs \"Why yes, yes, I sure am\".

The ole\' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, \"Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger\".

Internet jokes

THETMZ — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 03:18:22 -0500

after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels
robot sex? that\'s scary.
I know, that\'s what I thought
but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you\'re still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
..... not what I meant.
-------------------------
history books in a thousand years are going to be hilarious
According to the great 21st Century philosopher xXx_SePhIrOtH127765_xXx,
--------------------------
You know you watch too much porn, when you see a pussy and instantly know it\'s an asian pussy.
-------------------------
The lesbians next door bought me a rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...

Take James to Lithuania

THETMZ — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:55:01 -0500

Lithuania celebrates it\'s 1000th anniversary and here is the greeting from Chicago, IL.

French people wont leave a poor stewardess alone

THETMZ — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:52:44 -0500

hehe french stewardess got sense of humor

They are laughing at and with her, singing and asking her to imitate :

The Pig (le cochon !!!), the duck (le canard !!)

The Beard Master

THETMZ — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:51:03 -0500

Whats the problem officer?

THETMZ — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:50:11 -0500

A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, \"What\'s the
problem officer?\"

Officer: \"You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.\"

Man: \"No sir, I was going 65.\"

Wife: \"Oh, Harry. You were going 80.\" (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: \"I\'m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.\"

Man: \"Broken tail light? I didn\'t know about a broken tail light!\"

Wife: \"Oh Harry, you\'ve known about that tail light for weeks.\" (The
man gives his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: \"I\'m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt.\"

Man: \"Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.\"

Wife: \"Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt.\"

The man turns to his wife and yells, \"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!\"

The Officer turns to the woman and asks, \"Ma\'am, does your husband talk
to you this way all the time?\"

The wife says, \"No, only when he\'s drunk.\"

In a small midwestern conservative town

THETMZ — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:03:06 -0500

In a small midwestern conservative town, there wasn\'t a place to get a drink for miles around, so a local entrepreneur saw an opportunity: He started to build a tavern.

Liking a \"dry\" town, the local church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. The businessman was polite when congregants came to protest, but work continued on the tavern.

But the night before the grand opening, a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their piousness after that -- until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building\'s demise in its reply to the court.

At the first hearing, the judge held up the paperwork and took in the lawyers and both sides of the lawsuit.

\"I don\'t know how I\'m going to decide this,\" the judge said, \"but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner that believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn\'t.\"

Flight Attendant doing raps

THETMZ — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:02:07 -0500

Flight Attendant doing raps. Extremely funny!

Panda is having fun

THETMZ — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:00:42 -0500

Well, the guy is extraordinary lucky guy! His birthday could be celebrated that day!

The T-Mobile Dance

THETMZ — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 15:27:25 -0500

The T-Mobile Dance

Beyonce 100 Single Ladies Flash-Dance Piccadilly Circus

THETMZ — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 15:26:40 -0500

Amazing dance in London!

Sound of Music | Central Station Antwerp (Belgium)

THETMZ — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 15:25:40 -0500

Very cool video who haven\'t seen it!

Cat the pianist

THETMZ — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 15:22:40 -0500

Cat the pianist! Catcerto.

Police over police

THETMZ — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:15:31 -0500

I have never experienced this in the USA! Check this out!

Miracle in Iowa

THETMZ — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:14:07 -0500

This women got very very lucky to be alive. Thanks to this rescue guy. Miracle happens in Iowa state.

Nice summer boat

THETMZ — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:12:21 -0500

I wish I\'ve spent my summer holidays in this boat!

DO YOU WANT CAKE?!?!

THETMZ — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 16:13:09 -0500

Funny Animation

THETMZ — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 16:12:38 -0500

Woman is driving Honda

THETMZ — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:09:14 -0500

Yeah, woman again driving Honda. Check out how it started!

She used to be a Playboy star

THETMZ — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:07:25 -0500

Who recalls her name? I believe the name doesn\'t matter! Check out these spyshots!

Car in the river

THETMZ — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:01:24 -0500

Hey, it doesn\'t happen too often, does it?

Shit happens sometimes

THETMZ — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:58:19 -0500

This saying is not taken from nowhere. Check out how it may happen after great party! Luckily and hopefully nobody was hurt!

Arts on cars

THETMZ — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:56:06 -0500

Check out cool cars and cool paintings on cars. I was stunned by some of them!

Terminator from Berlin

THETMZ — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:53:26 -0500

Terminator in Berlin is going to rule the world! I\'ll be back!

Strange creature in the ocean

THETMZ — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:54:38 -0500

I do not have a clue what is that, but it looks strange and funny. Transparent creature!

Plane crash

THETMZ — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:52:29 -0500

Plane crashed straight into the jeep. What a coincidence?

Hummer H1

THETMZ — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:49:06 -0500

Hummer H1 made by myself! Looking good.

American wifi zones

THETMZ — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 00:23:07 -0500

We have plenty of free wifi zones in America! Good for us!

This car was made in Russia

THETMZ — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 00:21:44 -0500

Whatever car it is - looks like a new vehicle for Batman!

Amazing transformations in time

THETMZ — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 00:20:29 -0500

Check out amazing transformations in time. Yes, it\'s absolutely stunning how women can change!

Prince Phillip farting sequence

THETMZ — Sat, 30 May 2009 08:05:44 -0500

One two three - fart! Check out British royal family\'s farting sequence.

Dramatic changes

THETMZ — Sat, 30 May 2009 08:04:05 -0500

Once she was a model and front face for brands such as Victorias Secrets, Fendi, Armani etc...
Dramatic change happens not only climate.

Someone had a bad day

THETMZ — Sat, 30 May 2009 08:02:10 -0500

Someone was caught with cocaine for 50 billion dollars. Bad day!

Porsche made of gold

THETMZ — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:50:34 -0500

Yes, you heard me right! Porsche made of gold!

Original business cards

THETMZ — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:46:51 -0500

Original business cards. Maybe you will find some great ideas for yourself? Have a look!

Cat the soccer player

THETMZ — Sat, 23 May 2009 03:27:53 -0500

This cat loves to play soccer! She is a fan of soccer!

Life moments

THETMZ — Sat, 23 May 2009 03:25:25 -0500

Amazing life moments

Strangers worldwide

THETMZ — Sat, 23 May 2009 03:18:24 -0500

They are looking really strange...

Playboy party

THETMZ — Thu, 21 May 2009 15:40:21 -0500

Playboy party and bodyart - very nice party! Let me in!

Eat and drive

THETMZ — Thu, 21 May 2009 15:37:37 -0500

He is able to eat and drive in traffic with STICKS! OMG :-)

Crazy train accidents

THETMZ — Thu, 21 May 2009 15:35:43 -0500

Crazy train accidents might happen and do happen worldwide. Take a look at some of these crazy accidents!

Ferrari roof is on fire!

THETMZ — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:12:56 -0500

Ferrari roof is on fire! Sometimes even Ferrari burns out...

Super sexy army

THETMZ — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:09:49 -0500

Well, who would love to be volunteer in this army, please raise your hand!

Car accidents what can happen

THETMZ — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:09:42 -0500

If you do not pay good attention to what you are doing, you might end with this ;-)

Party girls

THETMZ — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:02:42 -0500

Hey everybody, summer time is coming! Take a look at summer party girls here!

Cars in Europe

THETMZ — Mon, 18 May 2009 14:58:11 -0500

Take a look at funny cars in Europe! They got parking problems but it\'s very fuel effective!

Cheerleaders and moments in sports

THETMZ — Sat, 16 May 2009 05:14:35 -0500

Cheerleaders and moments in sports

Hooters girls

THETMZ — Sat, 16 May 2009 05:10:38 -0500

Plenty of naughty girls pictures. Please be advised that you are eligible to view them (PG16).

Girls on camera

THETMZ — Fri, 15 May 2009 00:25:39 -0500

This is a friday episode how girls get wild on holidays. Nice views!

Maria Kuzmina worlds fitness champion

THETMZ — Fri, 15 May 2009 00:21:08 -0500

I must say this sport is not for women! Do you agree with me?

Why accidents are dangerous in desert?

THETMZ — Fri, 15 May 2009 00:17:23 -0500

You may guess why accidents in deserts are dangerous!

The most beautiful surfer girl

THETMZ — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:26:26 -0500

What can I say - I was unable not to post this post. Amazing surfer girl is catching the wind. Great photography, great girl!

Ancient city stronghold near the river

THETMZ — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:22:16 -0500

I have no clue where it\'s at, but it\'s looking very mysterious and nice. Take a look!

Ladies in the army

THETMZ — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:19:25 -0500

Well, IMHO it is not the best way for ladies to be in. Nevertheless some of them look really sexy!

Pictures of men and women

THETMZ — Tue, 12 May 2009 00:17:53 -0500

Things get funny sometimes when you look at the funny pictures!

Lots of trying in sports

THETMZ — Tue, 12 May 2009 00:13:58 -0500

Everybody loves sports! You got to repeat many exercises in sports. Do not get on camera or else you are going to appear on HSU! :-)

Funny pictures of animals

THETMZ — Tue, 12 May 2009 00:11:55 -0500

Take a look at some funny pictures of animals. Great moments caught on camera!

Bear having fun

THETMZ — Mon, 11 May 2009 15:33:43 -0500

She\'s having real fun in swimming pool!

Corvette ZR1

THETMZ — Mon, 11 May 2009 15:31:56 -0500

Corvette ZR1 for $97500. it was sold on Ebay? Whatever. Dude this is the most wonderful car you can ever get!

Kids and Adults. Epic Fail series

THETMZ — Sun, 10 May 2009 05:51:40 -0500

Kids and Adults. From Epic Fail series. Check out each photo and you will notice a kid somewhere in the real stuff.

Madman from Russia with love

THETMZ — Sun, 10 May 2009 05:49:22 -0500

This guy is stunningly crazy. He was standing like this for 2 hours at 6th floor, throwing stuff out of the window. Take a look at him. Finally he got arrested.

Why cricket is a good sport

THETMZ — Sun, 10 May 2009 05:46:17 -0500

Because you can watch women with big butts playing cricket! Well, check them out!

Water accidents

THETMZ — Sun, 10 May 2009 05:32:20 -0500

Be careful with water

Funny animal clips

THETMZ — Sun, 10 May 2009 05:30:30 -0500

Friday funnies collection

THETMZ — Fri, 08 May 2009 01:18:33 -0500

Checkout friday funnies collection and be happy on the weekend :-)

Microsoft Surface Parody

THETMZ — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:03:15 -0500

More Monday jokes

THETMZ — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:02:17 -0500

On one of his first nights in the White House, Dubya is awakened by the ghost of George Washington. Bush is frightened, but asks: \"George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?\" Washington advises him: \"Be honest above all else and set an honorable example, just as I did.\" This makes Bush uncomfortable, but he manages to get back to sleep.

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moves through the dark bedroom. \"Tom,\" Dubya asks, \"what is the best thing I could do to help the country?\" Jefferson replies, \"Throw away your prepared remarks and speak eloquently and extemporaneously from your heart,\" Jefferson advises.

Bush isn\'t sleeping well at all the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It\'s Abraham Lincoln\'s ghost and Dubya thinks finally, a Republican, I\'ll get some advice that I can use. \"Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?\" Bush asks hopefully.

Abe answers: \"Go see a play.\"

----------------------------------

The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed bachelor for many years.

\"Mr. Avery, don\'t leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you\'ll meet and be married in no time!\" says the Matchmaker.

\"Don\'t bother,\" replies Mr. Avery, \"I\'ve two sisters at home who look after all my needs.\"

\"That\'s all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife.\"

\"I said \'two sisters\'. I didn\'t say they were mine.\"

---------------------------------------

shlykshtus sexistiniai:

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.

If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
The swallow

How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Call her.

How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, let the b*tch cook in the dark.

What\'s the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E?
One\'s mad cow disease; the other\'s an agricultural problem.

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They\'re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What\'s the difference between your wife and your job?
After 10 years the job still sucks.

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.

Why did the woman cross the road?
What\'s the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?!

Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
Because it doesn\'t need cleaning yet.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your d*ck.

--------------------------------------

A Hindu, a Rabbi and a lawyer were out driving in the country late one night when their car broke down. Setting out on foot to find help, they came upon a farmhouse and explained their problem to the farmer. The farmer said they could spend the night but, since he only had two beds, one of them would have to sleep in the barn.

The Rabbi agreed to sleep in the barn and allow the other two to have the beds. Minutes after the Rabbi left for the barn, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi burst into the bedroom and exclaimed, \"I cannot sleep in the barn. There\'s a pig in there! It is against my religious beliefs to sleep in the same room as a pig.\"

The Hindu agreed that he would sleep in the barn, since he had no religious problems with pigs. A few minutes later, the Hindu came bursting into the bedroom and said, \"I cannot sleep in the barn. There is a cow in there! Sleeping in the same room as a cow is against my religious beliefs.\"

The lawyer, desperate to get some sleep, said he would sleep in the barn since he had no problem sleeping with animals.

Two minutes later, the bedroom door burst open and the pig and the cow ran in...

---------------------------------

Monday jokes

THETMZ — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:01:23 -0500

Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to Confession. \"Father, I kinda took a little lumber from that new construction site.\"

Priest: What did you do with the lumber, my son?

Boudreaux: Well, Father, my porch, she\'s had a hole for a longtime. I\'m afraid someone will break dey leg, so I fix de hole.

Priest: Well, that\'s not so bad.

Boudreaux: Well, Father, I had a little lumber left.

Priest: What did you do with it?

Boudreaux: Well, my poor dog, Phideaux, he ain\'t never had no place to get outta de weather, so I made him a doghouse.

Priest: OK, anything else?

Boudreaux: Well, Father, I had a little lumber left. So, you know, my truck, she ain\'t never had no place to get outta de weather either, so I made a two-car garage.

Priest: Now this is getting a little out of hand.

Boudreaux: Well, Father, I had a little lumber left.

Priest: Yes?

Boudreaux: Well, my wife, she always wanted a bigger house. So I added two bedrooms and a new bathroom.

Priest: OK, that\'s definitely too much. For your penance you are going to have to make a Novena. You do know how to make a Novena,
don\'t you?

Boudreaux: No, Father, but if you got the plans, I got the lumber.

----------------------

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in it\'s ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring, she should go to the store and get some \"Nair\" hair remover and rub in it\'s ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drug store and gets some \"Nair\" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her \"If you\'re going to use this under your arms don\'t use deodorant for a few days.\"

The lady says \"I\'m not using it under my arms.\"

The druggist says \"If you\'re using it on your legs don\'t shave for a few days.\"

The lady says \"I\'m not using it on my legs either, and if you must know I\'m using it on my schnauzer.\"

The druggist says \"Stay off your bicycle for a week.\"

-----------------------------

As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc.

Finally, she said, \"Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination.\" Joe, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, \"The captain is a woman?\"

When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, \"Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?\"

\"Yes,\" said the attendant, \"in fact, this entire crew is female.\"

\"My God,\" said Joe, \"I\'d better have two scotch and sodas. I don\'t know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit.\"

\"That\'s another thing,\" said the attendant, \"we no longer call it the cockpit. Now it\'s the box office.\"

----------------------------------

Q. What should you do if you get an e-mail with the subject \"Nude pictures of Sarah Palin\"?

A. Whatever you do, don\'t open it! It could contain a computer virus!

Q. What should you do if you get an e-mail with the subject \"Nude pictures of Hillary Clinton\"?

A. Whatever you do, don\'t open it! It could contain nude pictures of Hillary Clinton!

----------------------------------

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examining his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, \"You need to stop masturbating.\"

The guy replies, \"Why Doc? Am I going blind?\"

The doctor says, \"No, but you\'re upsetting the other patients in the waiting room.\"

-----------------------------------

Inspired Bicycles - Danny MacAskill April 2009

THETMZ — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:00:18 -0500

Heist

mergyte — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 06:52:23 -0500

Heist.
CONTROLS
Movement - ASWD. All keys can be modified.
Action - \'Q\'
Special Action \'E\'

Play Games at freeworldgroup

Cookie Tycoon

mergyte — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 06:49:35 -0500

Cookies... Cookies... COOKIES! Yes, it\'s your dream come true. You are now the proud owner of the newest, most delicious cookie and cake gourmet store in town.
Your objective is obvious, make the tastiest desserts on the planet and sell them to anybody and everybody!
Hire and fire people, upgrade your store, train staff, make a profit... or a loss.
Can you be the next COOKIE TYCOON?!?!

Play Games at freeworldgroup

FWG Pursuit

mergyte — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 06:43:40 -0500

FWG Pursuit

Play Games at freeworldgroup

Boomerpop

mergyte — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 06:37:02 -0500

CONTROLS
Press GO to start.

Mouse click where you want it to go.

Mouse click hold to have boomerang rotate around where you have clicked. Release mouse button when you want boomerang to fly in the direction it is currently pointing.

You can only click a certain distance away from the boomerang.

Z key to toggle zoom in and out (can only be done at the start of the level).

Play Games at freeworldgroup

Charlie The Unicorn

THETMZ — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:02:40 -0500

Plane talks

THETMZ — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:01:53 -0500

Tower: \"Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o\'clock, 6 miles!\"
Delta 351: \"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!\"
*************************************************************************************
Tower:\"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.\"
TWA 2341: \"Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?\"
Tower:\"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?\"

*************************************************************************************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: \"I\'m f...ing bored!\"
Ground Traffic Control: \"Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!\"
Unknown aircraft: \"I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!\"

*************************************************************************************
O\'Hare Approach Control to a 747: \"United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o\'clock, three miles, Eastbound.\"
United 329: \"Approach, I\'ve always wanted to say this...I\'ve got the little Fokker in sight.\"

*************************************************************************************
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): \"Ground, what is our start clearance time?\"
Ground (in English): \"If you want an answer you must speak in English.\"
Lufthansa (in English): \"I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany Why must I speak English?\"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): \"Because you lost the bloody war!\"

*************************************************************************************
Tower:\"Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7\"
Eastern 702: \"Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.\"
Tower:\"Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. ! Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?\"
BR Continental 635: \"Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we\'ve already notified our caterers.\"

*************************************************************************************

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one\'s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: \"Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.\"
Ground: \"Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.\"
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: \"Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?\"
Speedbird 206: \"Stand by, Ground, I\'m looking up our gate location now.\"
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): \"Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?\"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): \"Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn\'t land.\"

Demetri Martin on Rove

THETMZ — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:00:58 -0500

STARLA Baila! Baila! Baila!

THETMZ — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:00:23 -0500

WRC Cat

THETMZ — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:48:41 -0500

Stan Marsh takes us through the mortgage crisis

THETMZ — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:47:47 -0500

Salesmen at Kreisiraadio

THETMZ — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:47:18 -0500

Bill Clinton Falls Asleep During Martin Luther King Speech

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:13:07 -0500

Racist McDonald's Commercial

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:12:04 -0500

Best diet on earth!

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:11:29 -0500

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.
For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert\'s temperature is normalized. Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.

Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat,the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn\'t take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.

Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.

Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

Happy eating!

He is just having fun

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:10:50 -0500

Well, in a bit awkward way :)

Very intensive work

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:09:39 -0500

THey knew what they were doing!

Fan for real

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:08:43 -0500

He is ready to be a cheerleader

Great picture from old times

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:07:56 -0500

Old school photography!

It's not cheating

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:06:43 -0500

If husband watches!

Lego man is sitting here

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:05:55 -0500

You are more than welcome to take a picture with me!

I don't know how to be funnier than that

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:04:52 -0500

Why you ain\'t laughing at me!?

Funny kangaroo

THETMZ — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:04:04 -0500

Funny kangaroo and baby kangaroo!

Repainting

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:53:59 -0500

It will be a nice picture when finished!

Elephant and his friend got tired!

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:53:03 -0500

So they decided to take a nap!

Soldier girl looking great

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:52:19 -0500

You go girl!

In the middle of speed

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:46:24 -0500

Great looking photograph!

Friends are friends forever

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:45:30 -0500

Except when you get drunk!

Cutting hair for babies

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:44:25 -0500

Great job and funny face!

PedoBear free candy

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:43:16 -0500

Don\'t get caught by PedoBear!

Twin Musical Tesla Coils playing Mario Bros

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:41:13 -0500

Pro Hacking At Its Best

THETMZ — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:40:31 -0500

Silly one

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:21:06 -0500

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, �How many of you have forgiven your enemies?�

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

�Mrs. Neely?�; �Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?�

I don�t have any.� She replied, smiling sweetly.

�Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?�

�Ninety-eight.� she replied.

�Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?�

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, �I outlived the bitches.�

What's in the Box? - Test Film 2009

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:19:53 -0500

Cock Shot

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:19:20 -0500

Great quotes and thoughts

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:18:42 -0500

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
2. A day without sunshine is, like, night
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I\'m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it
remains?
13. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don\'t get sucked into jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.
19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don\'t expect it back.
22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
26. Support bacteria - they\'re the only culture some people have.
27. When everything\'s coming your way, you\'re in the wrong lane and
going the wrong way.
28. If at first you don\'t succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.
29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
30. Experience is something you don\'t get until just after you need
it.
31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness
of the bread.
38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the
ability to reach it.
39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is research.
40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your
principles.
41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you\'ll have to catch
up.
46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
48. Get a new car for your spouse - it\'ll be a great trade!
49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
54. If at first you don\'t succeed, then skydiving isn\'t for you.

Funny snippets from Bash

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:18:04 -0500

Nyoronyoden says:so yeah...I bought a fairly expensive class ring
Nyoronyoden says:but I realized I hate wearing rings
Nyoronyoden says:so I wear it on my necklace
Nyoronyoden says:...a friend of mine said \"Dude, you\'re fucking gangster. Even your jewelry is wearing jewelry\"

-----------

I think the thing I\'ve been most ashamed of doing with my penis
was trying to see if I could register it as a fingerprint on my laptops fingerprint scanner
JUST so I could login with a penis print
it didn\'t work :(

-------------

Helrich: so i was at the diner this morning, and i was really hungry.
Helrich: i got a big plate of scrambled eggs and started eating them super fast
Helrich: when i stopped to breathe, half the plate was gone and i shouted DOMINATING!!!
Helrich: everyone in the diner stopped what they were doing and stared at me for along time until someone from across the room shouted HUMILIATION!!!
Helrich: I gotta stop playing Quake.

-----------------

Enetheru: Freud... he\'d have a ball with that.
Enetheru: Man, I wish he was still alive.
Enetheru: \"Hey Freud, I want to introduce you to 4chan.\"
Enetheru: \"Say Hi, 4chan.\"
Fizzkittens: Argh!
Enetheru: Freud wouldn\'t be able to do enough coke to keep up.

-------------------

yeh not alot just finished cleaning and doin laundry.
hahaha ok
yuh
theres no women around for me to yell at them to do it so i have to be the last resort
i yell at myself to do it
hit myself around the room
then start sobbing as i mop the floor with my bloodied hair
wtf seriously who the fuck are you
thats fucked up who says that shit
yeah good point the blood WOULD make the floor worse.
thanks.
quit: johno (teaching that bitch how to clean properly)

------------------

I got the worst fortune after having a condom break
what
\"Even the smallest leak can sink a ship\"
Damn Asian Cookies

------------------

So i bought a shirt from express men.. does that make me gay?
no, the fact that you have sex with men makes you gay
the shirt just makes you a stereotype

--------------------

christ how long does a reboot take
took him 3 days

-------------------

When I bought siemens cellphone, siemens sold its cellular section. When I bought yakumo screen, yakumo got bunkrupt. When I bought fujitsu-siemens laptop, siemens sold its share.
Just curious what to buy next...
apple
Apple
apple

Man Connects Himself to a Tesla Coil to play Star Wars theme

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:17:23 -0500

Extreme Sheep LED Art

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:15:52 -0500

Snakes food etc

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:14:56 -0500

Very tasty looking Chinese food plate! WHEW.

Mathematical approach

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:14:03 -0500

Mathematical approach to parents and kids

Google letter

THETMZ — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:13:17 -0500

Old school Google letter

Mum, give me something to drink!

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:30:49 -0500

Mum where are you? I wanna drink so bad!

Do not steal my bike!

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:28:42 -0500

Anyway it will be heavier than you think!

Happy worker is taking a nap

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:24:11 -0500

I don\'t care about credit crunches, crises etc..

I just wanna cool this bottle of water

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:23:08 -0500

Damn it\'s hot in the office!

Probably somewhere in Egypt?

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:21:43 -0500

Have no clue where it\'s at, just guessing!

She knows how to be scary!

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:20:19 -0500

Dude that\'s a great costume!

Just in case you need them

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:19:33 -0500

Feel free to use them!

Who knows what is that?

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:18:42 -0500

Nowadays kids...

Let's burn some dollars

THETMZ — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:17:18 -0500

Hey dude let\'s burn em!

Guy from Prison Break?

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:09:15 -0500

No but he is very similar to Micheal!

Do not pee here

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:08:20 -0500

Or else you will get your balls cut off.

Mr. Camera man

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:07:44 -0500

Are you hungry?

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:06:42 -0500

Nice burgers for sure!

Sunshine vallery ranch

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:06:04 -0500

Woof woof!

Friday girls are getting cold

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:05:17 -0500

Let\'s help them!

It's a whit car parked outsite

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:04:34 -0500

Well what\'s happening inside?

Oldschool is helping BMW

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:03:47 -0500

Well this happens sometimes..EPIC FAIL.

Hey German mister

THETMZ — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:03:02 -0500

I bet you are a fan of beer and football!

About Sex

THETMZ — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:49:03 -0500

\"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.\"
�Tom Clancy

\"You know \"that look\" women get when they want sex? Me neither.\"
�Steve Martin

\"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don�t have a good partner, you�d better have a good hand.\"
�Woody Allen

\"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.\"
�Rodney Dangerfield

\"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.\"
�Lynn Lavner

\"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.\"
�Matt Barry

\"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.\"
�Camille Paglia

\"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.\"
�George Burns

\"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.\"
�Sharon Stone

\"My girlfriend always laughs during sex�-no matter what she�s reading.\"
�Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

\"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.\"
�Jack Nicholson

\"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.\"
�Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady � and you didn�t think Barbara had a sense of humor)

\"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man�s genitals through his wallet.\"
�Robin Williams

\"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.\"
�Roseanne

\"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.\"
�Billy Crystal

\"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.\"
�Robert De Niro

\"There�s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what�s the problem?\"
�Dustin Hoffman

\"There�s very little advice in men�s magazines, because men think, I know what I�m doing. Just show me somebody naked.\"
�Jerry Seinfeld

\"Instead of getting married again, I�m going to find a woman I don�t like and just give her a house.\"
�Rod Stewart

Strange disease

THETMZ — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:47:51 -0500

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane.

The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man isn\'t sure why she is shuddering, and he goes back to reading. A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat. The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders violently again. The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, \"Three times you\'ve sneezed, and three times you\'ve taken a tissue and wiped your nose, then shuddered violently! Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?\"

The woman replies, \"I\'m sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.

\" The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, \"I\'ve never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?\"

The woman looks at him and says, \"Pepper.

VCR Hack!

THETMZ — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:47:09 -0500

The government today announced

THETMZ — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:46:42 -0500

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle
to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government\'s political
stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next
generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security
while you\'re actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn\'t get more accurate than that.

Write in C - Let it be Cover - Piano

THETMZ — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:45:36 -0500

Yes friday is really coming!

THETMZ — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:44:09 -0500

Jurgita Valts - More amazing video clips are a click away

Hey it is friday!

THETMZ — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:42:58 -0500

Saggy stars need a bra

mergyte — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 03:39:54 -0500

In need of a lift...

[/center
[center]

Great and tasty thing

THETMZ — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:18:59 -0500

I think it was tasty fish!

Answer the question soldier!

THETMZ — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:18:12 -0500

Once In the Russian army...

Hara Kiri Ballet

THETMZ — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:17:23 -0500

Where Hara Kiri in some language means the DEAD END.

This is what happens when you have too much free time

THETMZ — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:16:38 -0500

The credit crunch makes you do miracles!

Great antenna guy

THETMZ — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:15:28 -0500

Hey you are acting like antenna!

Having fun in a swimming pool

THETMZ — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:14:40 -0500

Hey look at me look at me!

Techno women are having fun

THETMZ — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:13:51 -0500

Oldschool techno!

Give me something

THETMZ — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:11:04 -0500

Hey I want some tea!

This cartoon is one of the EPIC FAIL

THETMZ — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:24:34 -0500

Don\'t do this at home to your wife!

Police officer the from lover

THETMZ — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:23:47 -0500

Whatever.

White snow white cat

THETMZ — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:23:14 -0500

Amazing mask!

How are you doing dude

THETMZ — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:22:35 -0500

I just came out this spring!

I don't like tattoos

THETMZ — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:21:56 -0500

But she looks nice!

Jumping rabbit

THETMZ — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:21:19 -0500

Run baby run

Birthday celebration at McDonalds

THETMZ — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:20:44 -0500

Very clever!

But this butt is even BIGGER!

THETMZ — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:33:06 -0600

Oh yeah...what was she eating?

She's got something good NOT

THETMZ — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:32:11 -0600

Only big BUTT!

Dude get me some water to drink

THETMZ — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:31:19 -0600

I do want to drink!

Mother is saving her little one

THETMZ — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:30:04 -0600

She is taking care of her little baby!

Wew what a hack I've just eaten

THETMZ — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:28:30 -0600

It was very very bad!

He knows how to pick the costumes

THETMZ — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:26:59 -0600

Other than that - EPIC FAIL.

Russian Police says HALT

THETMZ — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:25:44 -0600

To....THE HORSE!

They do love each other

THETMZ — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:24:59 -0600

Very nice photograph

Tetris Grand Master

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:34:11 -0600

Wanna win?

Come and play with me!

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:28:03 -0600

You lazy boy!

Girls it's only Monday!

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:27:20 -0600

It\'s not friday yet!

Russians take the lead!

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:26:37 -0600

Here they go again!

Looks like it is similar to some animal

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:25:36 -0600

What a hack it is?

Hey catch me mister!

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:24:53 -0600

Or else I am going to fall!

Wow she's got something to look at

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:23:59 -0600

I am only thinking what she\'s got....m?

What a wonderful thing

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:23:09 -0600

It looks similar to...?

Hey mister I am standing still

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:22:10 -0600

When are you going to give me a candy?!

Listen up dude

THETMZ — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:21:15 -0600

I am fed up of waiting for carrots!

My boyfriends wife hates me!

mergyte — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:33:29 -0600

My boyfriends wife hates me!

Find the difference

mergyte — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:25:43 -0600

Find the difference.

Bendy girls

mergyte — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:22:32 -0600

Bendy babes

Very talented boy

THETMZ — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:30:16 -0600

Job interview

THETMZ — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:29:24 -0600

Too fast for you

THETMZ — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:28:51 -0600

Kids watchin you

THETMZ — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:28:03 -0600

Chef (Remi Gaillard)

THETMZ — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:26:43 -0600

Milk panic

THETMZ — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:24:11 -0600

Snow line

THETMZ — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:22:19 -0600

Stick Trinity

THETMZ — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:20:00 -0600

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere

THETMZ — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:31:01 -0600

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
two Italian men and one Italian woman
two French men and one French woman
two German men and one German woman
two Greek men and one Greek woman
two English men and one English woman
two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
two American men and one American woman
two Irish men and one Irish woman

One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean and another long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor/ convenience store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the American woman keeps on complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, all the sales she\'s missing, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn\'t raining. The American woman, meanwhile, watches the men fart and scratch.

The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they\'re satisfied, because at least the English aren\'t having any fun.

The roof the roof is on fire!

THETMZ — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:29:34 -0600

OOps, sorry. The mouth is on fire!