A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride

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A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of no where, parks his bike and walks inside.As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:COLD BEER: $2.00HAMBURGER: $2.25CHEESEBURGER: $2.50CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50HAND JOB: $50.00Checking his wallet to be sure he has the...

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Internet jokes

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after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels robot sex? that\'s scary. I know, that\'s what I thought but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you\'re still...

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Whats the problem officer?

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A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, \"What\'s the problem officer?\"Officer: \"You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.\"Man: \"No sir, I was going 65.\"Wife: \"Oh, Harry. You were going 80.\" (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)Officer: \"I\'m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.\"Man: \"Broken tail...

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In a small midwestern conservative town

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In a small midwestern conservative town, there wasn\'t a place to get a drink for miles around, so a local entrepreneur saw an opportunity: He started to build a tavern.Liking a \"dry\" town, the local church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. The businessman was polite when congregants came to protest,...

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More Monday jokes

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On one of his first nights in the White House, Dubya is awakened by the ghost of George Washington. Bush is frightened, but asks: \"George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?\" Washington advises him: \"Be honest above all else and set an honorable example, just as I did.\" This makes Bush uncomfortable, but he manages to get...

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Monday jokes

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Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to Confession. \"Father, I kinda took a little lumber from that new construction site.\" Priest: What did you do with the lumber, my son? Boudreaux: Well, Father, my porch, she\'s had a hole for a longtime. I\'m afraid someone will break dey leg, so I fix de hole. Priest: Well, that\'s not so bad....

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Plane talks

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Tower: \"Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o\'clock, 6 miles!\"Delta 351: \"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!\"*************************************************************************************Tower:\"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.\"TWA 2341: \"Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up...

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Best diet on earth!

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As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the...

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Silly one

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Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister...

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Great quotes and thoughts

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1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set2. A day without sunshine is, like, night3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.7. I feel like I\'m diagonally parked in a parallel...

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Funny snippets from Bash

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Nyoronyoden says:so yeah...I bought a fairly expensive class ringNyoronyoden says:but I realized I hate wearing ringsNyoronyoden says:so I wear it on my necklaceNyoronyoden says:...a friend of mine said \"Dude, you\'re fucking gangster. Even your jewelry is wearing jewelry\"----------- I think the thing I\'ve been most ashamed of doing with my...

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About Sex

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\"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can...

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Strange disease

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A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat. The man isn\'t sure why she is shuddering, and he goes back to reading. A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose,...

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The government today announced

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The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government\'s political stance.A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you\'re actually being screwed.Damn, it...

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On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere

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On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:two Italian men and one Italian womantwo French men and one French womantwo German men and one German womantwo Greek men and one Greek womantwo English men and one English womantwo Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian womantwo Japanese men and one...

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